ColouredRain

Olena, not like it matters.

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but i don't love you. by ColouredRain, literature

Literature

but i don't love you.

to things i don't understand to what i can't get through to you to how you close your eyes on fucking everything. why you see echoes of dinosaurs while i write out the world "love" over my self-inflicted wounds [and i know it's fucking cliche and immature and disgusting but hey,] anything for you my love. how for every i love you they get one back but lately i'm not sure if one thousand twenty seven eguals zero mostly because my math teacher marked it wrong; how doubting is all i do anymore where your heart has been for the past few days when will i go back to just not caring that I used to be so proud about an

disfunctional by ColouredRain, literature

Literature

disfunctional

I told myself over a million times that i don't love you anymore, and as much as i tell myself I don't care, I secretly hope you're listening. --- I swore to God i won't miss you, and I really don't. Keep telling yourself that, they tell me. (I wish I were a better listener) --- You said, "I'm like water, running running running. You can try to catch me, but you won't ever succeed." And despite my ultimate comprehension of the fact that you're gone, I can't help but try to catch up with you.

Dear Nobody, by ColouredRain, literature

Literature

Dear Nobody,

Maybe if you had a little bit more heart, you'd realize that you don't need to soak up others' happiness for the ability to smile. You listen, but you don't hear. i still can't figure out if it's your shell, or your soft underbelly, but you seem not to know either. You don't, do you? (If i were the sun, I'd give up on you a long time ago.) Dear Nobody, you try so hard to offer yourself for love, but what you don't know is that love doesn't just HAPPEN. Maybe you try too hard, maybe not at all. I once told you; "You can't turn love on and off, it's a constant, and constants don't flicker." I'm sorry you don't get i

Conceptual surreal by ColouredRain, literature

Literature

Conceptual surreal

The sun should occupy our whole Earth. And it really does, (It's just the people who live in the dark) The further we are from ourselves, the closer to the Black Hole. (We're in it anyway - otherwise, the sun wouldn't shine as a dot over our heads.) Winter Spring Summer Autumn It's all a torn cycle of eternity into four seasons. This sinned wish to become God, The surreal term Time ruins us. And we need to forget about how it used to be, or will be, and live in the now. Because what it was, is calculated Truth. And what it will be, is precalculated Lies.

counting angels by ColouredRain, literature

Literature

counting angels

i. Your eyes are worth more than all the orange sunsets, twenty million crystalline planets, and seventy tangled butterflies. If only i could do it without harming you, I'd put them in a glass jar and save them for later, when I'm sad, to remind me that at least you're still beautiful. ii. Your heart is woven from melancholy lullabies, diamond orchids and flamingo-pink fireworks. Only mine is a little bit barbed-wired, but if we ever collapsed, the birds of your inside would untangle it and make it bloom and sparkle and burst into shards of sunshine. iii. Your smile makes the sun hide in shame, or maybe I just can't see it when you cra

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but i don't love you. by ColouredRain, literature

Literature

but i don't love you.

disfunctional by ColouredRain, literature

Literature

disfunctional

Dear Nobody, by ColouredRain, literature

Literature

Dear Nobody,

Conceptual surreal by ColouredRain, literature

Literature

Conceptual surreal

counting angels by ColouredRain, literature

Literature

counting angels

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zeeroofourten smile by crushasphyxia, literature

Literature

zeeroofourten smile

i bet if you broke her heart you would apologize. you'd curl his fingers around her locks and cop out i bet if you broke her heart you would say 'i'm so sorry' only i would know you 'sincere' pardon-me's were hollow and she could carry on with her high self esteem her brain leisons all in tact while i'm left here, trying to connect red wires to blue my abdomin muscle's the only thing keeping me together walking across a tight rope wire crying, 'this should be you, i knew better. this should be her, she's so fucking niave, i thought i knew better--' and i'll be the one up with you at six in the morning hardly keeping myself toget

she has eyes but no pupils by crushasphyxia, literature

Literature

she has eyes but no pupils

she looked at me and with all the sorrow in her eyes she traced her words around my fingertips and whispered 'i can't feel anything at all except your emptiness echoing off of mine.' _____ she asked me if i loved her and i said maybe. she started to cry and i asked her and she said she just wanted to feel weightless for a moment or two and love was heavy, heavy, heavy _____ i held her hand when they pumped her stomach and when she could speak again she pulled me close and whispered 'you are a very strange creature. but it's not the same when you aren't around. everything changes when you leave.' on her bedside table,

my name is acquiescence by crushasphyxia, literature

Literature

my name is acquiescence

please don't ask me what my name is, because i don't quite remember it today. instead, i told you, you could ask me what colour my eyes are, because i would gladly remind you my eyes were the colour of wood on fire; not black yet, but streaming flashes of red and brown and green and orange and that would be easy enough. instead i could tell you that i'm sometimes short but i'll pretend i'm tall; i'll press down on your shoulders and push up on my toes until i'm eight foot a hundred. you could ask me how far away the sky was and i could tell you only as far as gravity pulls me away from it. i could tell you i'd rather pull seams out of sk

i'm not really sure what this by crushasphyxia, literature

Literature

i'm not really sure what this

to my dearly departed, i'll kiss your ivory gravestone with silence and i'll trace your engravings with acrylic fingertips, but what once where fragile embraces have been replaced by the cool caresses of dirty, empty air and hollow footsteps above you. just listen for a while. i'm sorry i never knew quite who you are. [i like to think you can hear my footsteps.] to my flourescent adolescent, your eyes are in greyscale and i want you to smile again. come along, life hasn't been so rough has it? you're so good at parting your lips, can't you just turn their corners for a second or two? suffering isn't quite as becoming as one w

predisposed in storm clouds by crushasphyxia, literature

Literature

predisposed in storm clouds

dear someone; one. don't tell me we are empty when i still feel where my heart used to beat; i'm positive there's something there. don't tell me we have nothing to live for, just to make sure i'm as depressed as you are. dear someone; maybe you are a sinking ship but i am not your captain. two. you can blacken your eyes with ashes but all the gunmetal grey can't cover the black and blue bruises beneath your pretty eyelashes. you can forgive but please tell me you won't forget [me] three. you shivered under raindrops like they were liquid nitrogen, and i wiped your tears away when you couldn't take it much longer. i wa

and next month, we smile. by lovestruck-x, literature

Literature

and next month, we smile.

paige: there is a skeletal disorder pouring into your brain and someday it will catch fire, while your insides are left out to bake under wrought vanity, much like a second skin. the skeletons like to bang on windows and scream for hearts that skip beats. the ambulance doesn`t respond, but oh!we are hurting. today, the north star`s tendons peel from the sky. tomorrow, the only appropriate thing to do is punch doors. the next day, you are choking dahlias because they are your favorite flower, and i always knew you were a girl of opposites. the person on the other line is verbally hideou

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counting angels by ColouredRain, literature

Literature

counting angels

ColouredRain

About ColouredRain

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United States
Deviant for 15 years
She / Her

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My Bio

I'm Olena. I trust everyone, but then - I doubt anything anyone says. I believe you can be in a serious relationship in my age, although I HAVE been proven wrong. I'm pathetic. I'm nice, but I'm not. To all of you who pretended you cared, and then chose to leave - you can go drunk drive of a bridge.
I really don't care, because you're dead to me already.

Favourite genre of music: Rock/Alternative

Favourite Visual Artist

M.C. Escher, Salvador Dahli

Favourite Movies

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Thriving Ivory

Favourite Writers

Paulo Coelho

Tools of the Trade

Words and a pencil are my only weapons.

Posts

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ColouredRain

Oct 12, 2009

Swallowed in reality, apology letter.

0 min read

I'm sorry I'm sorry    sorry    sorry    sorry. I haven't submitted anything for about 3 months or so before the last poem simply because i was finally happy with my boy, with my life, with everything. But you see now I'm back to my normal self, and I'm happy to be back here. Please don't ask me if I'm doing better, I'm doing beautiful, really. If not so, I'm doing as I was before those 3 months, and I'm used to it, you know? Also, I'm glad to announce I should be back here just like I used to be. :) --- To all my old fellow Deviants, I love you. And to all new watchers and such, hello, I love you as well. :heart: If I haven't h

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ColouredRain

Apr 29, 2009

graffitti the sky.

0 min read

Maybe it's just me, but the world seems like a happier place now. He's here for me, but as much as I want to, I don't love him, not enough. Maybe it's an anxiety disorder, maybe I'm afraid of being left alone, again. Though besides that, things with my family are pretty rough. I hate Connecticut. ------------------------------------------------- Another thing, I think I might have found myself. I'm horrible at those "about myself" things, but this is what my myspace says, as corny as it is. "I'm Olena. My life is finally geting back on track, I just needed that last notch to get me there. It will take a lot to make me cry, and I'

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ColouredRain

Mar 14, 2009

love doesn't change anything.

0 min read

First of all, I'm sorry for not spending nearly as much time as I used to on Deviantart. I love you all, and I should be back to normal in a couple of weeks. Thank you for all the support and feedback, you're great. Send me a note, I'd love to hear how you're doing. --- Not to sweet of a story, but i found out the guy I love has been lying to me all along, and just wanted to use me for, you know. Good thing, I told him i don't have any respect or trust for him whatsoever, anymore. I was being such a fool. --- http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/profile.php?id=1616890854&ref=profile -my facebook. if you add me, tell me who you are. ♥

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birthdays

Dec 14, 2011

!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!

It's December 13^th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team